“ill be waiting at the end of the tunnel, you know the bright light? yeah thats the fond memories of my dearest sweet symphonies screaming for you. we hear your plea. we will wait for you”

so i once again got nickle and dimed to death by the almighty rich. whatever. im still reflecting on the talk i had with her. I have my thoughts about what was said and I have my doubts and the truths, all i know is i was glad to hear she was alrite. in time we wil speak again. and i will wait.

::always look through the same window and of course youll have the same view, its lights camera action take us and tell us what to do::

the feeling that i am being watched, makes me tingle,

I wont say unfortunatly, but i talked to chrissy last night, for about three hours. Im happy for her. Although she tries to portray that she was mad and didnt want to talk to me, I think she was glad to hear from me. old familiar faces are a fun thing to see and hear from every so often. especially her. because we played a big part in each others lives. I think we will continue to do so eventually, who knows? there is a chance. but theres a better chance that george bush will keel over and the loch ness monster will become president. Hey i could only dream. i think ol’ nessy would make a good president.

I hope you are happy, you seem like it so stay that way. Im glad i got over this hump of idiocy i have learned to let things go and i have learned to deal. Im happy about it. For once i could talk to her without having to defend myself. because i didnt need to, i dont want to. i dont have to. be happy, be safe, be stable. we will speak again soon. hopefully when you have a lighter heart and maybe we can have a meaningful conversation… until then. Good travels m’lady<33

::what makes you and me click with them::

i dont know really what happened yesturday. all i know was that i walked around and did nothing then called ej in the morning. he stayed home sick. that liar. hopefully i will find a place to stay tonite. i just need that full time job thing then i can go back home. even when i was like freezing cold in the am’ my dad still said i cudnt come home. ugh whatever

on a lighter note, it is lighter out now then it was at 3:00 AM. woo. I have no life. somone rescue me and lets be little kids and play on the jungle gym and swingset. that would be nice

::fate is a memory::

what are you trying to say?

so i am at jhons nows,

john is a rad dude, thanx man. his room is covered in pictures, posters and magazine clip stuff… and a piece of my art. i didnt like it, but i guess he did. rad. i might go and stay at ej’s now, im not sure ill find out when i talk to him.

i hope sooner or later i can figure out what i am doing and go to college and stuff. i just do not know when. ugh sooner or later. also trying to put out this compilation cd and such, i wanna get it out there, i just have to confirm the bands. word

::if we knew it ended tommorow::

for the witches goblins and ghouls,

i have to leave dylans,

dylans parents are flipping out because i am still here so i cannot be here anymore. why cant my parents just say. yes you can come home and then let me back in. im grateful they are letting me come back, but come on a full time job is hard to come by.

on another subject, the destroyed by robots site is fully up! Im so happy. everyone should go into the forums and sign up and make it the coolest community board better then lipunx, zooboard and ihatemusic. word. go look at it

[death becomes you]

i feel very weird as of right now,

i feel inclined to live in a bush for the next week heh. but it is waay to cold. all i need to do is find a job and i can move back in with my parents. so where to get the job? im waiting on costco to reply back on whether or not i get the photolab job. which would be awesome, if not maybe somewhere else

::this ones for you, for you my child::

rid the cancer…

world burns to death owns,

today i went to the knitting factory with greg, noah and dave to see world burns to death and uncurbed. No matter what type of music im into i can always sit back and listen to some good crusty music. it was fun, i think the highlight of the trip was when i found the health hazard discography. 8 bux, the only bad part was it was in horrible used condition. oh well. 12 inches rocks. uncurbed was great. on the way back home dave found a slug and lettuce on the ground, he left it in my bag so i started to read it. i read an article on how 3 girls were raped at pointless fest. that just blew my mind, out of all places. sadly, i guess it was bound to happen. i only hope these girls can recover and join the ranks of awesome and wonderful dudes and ladies at these fine shows.

i got back to thinking about my life again while i was on the train, people think that life is somthing you just earn by living your daily life. in my perspective its not. i mean how can people meet all the amazing people in the world smell different aromas, breathe different air if they sit around their house, go to college, go to work then come home and sleep? i dont get it. by the time im 22 i want to start traveling, for a long time, spend a couple days in each awesome town i come across. grow to love, share and help one another. until i find out what its like to really be alive. i need to travel. it aches inside of me, i just dont know when to let it out

::with you,::

today…tommorow…the next day…the next year…eternally

panXcakes better be good,

the pancakes should be good. with strawberries! Today is world burns to death and uncurbed at the knitting factory. with greg, w00t i havent seen greg in a while. “i can only sell anti capitalism patches so much before it becomes capitalism” thats the funniest thing i have ever heard. do me a favor, and end it because “you never talk about jeremy at all”, while you say “jeremy tells me i need to get my life in order while he was kicked out of his house.” just stop being stupid. then end. end it.

</p>I want to go take wonderful pictures with a wonderful person.. (insert wonderful persons name here) i need a wonderful person… who is into photography and who loves art. who can be themselves and who can also have a good outlook on life. i ask for too much sometimes. I have to wait for costco to call me back now.. and then i will have a job, hopefully.. i really need it</p>

::sometimes the best things in life are worth waiting for::

it’s not what you say…you just wont go away

Monty Love is a good band,

Today is part 2 to the whole Costco ordeal… I hope I get the job I could really use 300 dollars a week. I could get my car and such and then start saving for whatever else I would need. Like a trip out to California. I really need that. The nice weather the good friends and all my old houses I could visit. Ah the memories. Today is JP’s last day in NY, he is going to florida for a motorcycle rebuilding school or somthing. Called Motorcycle Mechanics. That jerk, he doesnt have to leave. He could take online courses. I am going to miss him, he has been a good friend of mine since 10th grade so about a good 3-4 years now. He has always been a good guy. Ill miss ya buddy, I will come visit.

I’ve met some really rad people in the last couple of days. Although Myspace is not a good friend, it can be used to make some good friends. Besides that, My good friend is leaving for Florida tommorow for motorcycle mechanics school. Did I tell you that? Oh thats all I can think about now Ill miss you dude.

::Lets tear this boy’s club down and make it ours now::

for the maggots who feast on my decaying mind…

today was a good day,

I started out by going to an interview with Costco, in which I think they are more then happy to give me a job in the photo department. So tommorow I have to go back at 2:15 to get the second interview with the head boss. Then i guess if i pass that it means I have the job? Hopefully, I need a car so I can drive around and meet all these cool people I jsut randomly talk to online. Id like to meet some of you.

secondly, I went to this church counseling thing with my parents and it went good. I think i will be moving back in with them in the next couple of weeks. I just dont have an exact date, which is not a problem, I want it to work and working takes time. So hopefully it works, I need my own room and so I can decorate it to my liking and get all the cool stuff I used to have but in a neater fashion.

The best thing about today is tommorow is going to be a better one