i have a hardtime saying what i want to say sometimes, like expressing how i feel and such, i wish i could find out how somone feels. Ill find out soon enough i think, I just need to be able to say what i want to say….
i will when i get back, i need too.
<3333 have fun everyone while im gone!
i hate feeling like crap. Like i still get upset every now and then from long washed away past expierences, it still makes me sad about a bunch of things, I always like to think about what the other party could of done better, what i could have done better. Its a big cycle of viciousness that i wish could stop, but have no control over it. On second thought I dont know if i would want to stop it, because if I do ill slowly forget what human beings are capable of and if I do that, I will become too transparent and i will be vulnerable again. Just to think about the past does open such scars and it really scares me that I still care, but I do. I know its all gone and out of the way now and there is no chance to ever heal them and patch things up, but i just will always know that I still hope that you are well and that your lifeis going great…..
On the other hand. we shot linneas movie yesturday, crazy amounts of talented actors playing silly zombies and weird couples shooting each other then throwing meat at the wall. pretty fun. havent seen conor in years word
I have to go get ready for work.
<<33<333<3333<33333<3333<333<33<3
rockin’ i think are joining dbr!
w0000000
and i get to see linnea again wednesday. still havent said anything :-/
the last couple of weeks have been pretty decent…. uhmm i have been seeing linnea a lot lately, shes really cool. I sort of have a crush on her and stuff 
. But im bad trying to express how I feel and stuff. so ill fail at life. 
but yes, the last couple of weeks have been nice, I played a show today, it was kinda small and like 6 people watched us, which was pretty cool…
w0rd
im gonna go pollunate my grwawerrtrewdsfdv
Im pretty happy at the moment, especially without any type of ignorance floating around with the shape of forgetful faces.
grow up? grow up!
im really happy that is over now that i think about it, all that time wasted. I could of done somthing constructive, like run my own life, instead of somone else pestering me into forming it to their standards. Im glad it ended the way it did, Im also glad that i will most likely never see you again. Im also happy that im prolly moving to texas,
in this, I find peace. In this, I find hope. In this, I slowly die.
this is a list of the 10 bands that are the most influential/meaningful bands to me from last to first:
10) Zao – Zao was the first Hardcore band I ever listened to, when they had the almost thrashy hardcore style with the high pitched screaming, thats when they were good. All their new stuff is really bad, but their old stuff is the best, They got me into any type of music that I’ve listened to in the past 6 years, so I would feel bad not putting them on this list…
9) Bane – Bane is the only band around nowadays from the past that still keeps to what they have been doing since they started, never changed anything about the band and still dress the same, none of this stupid jean crazy or slicked hair. They still rock, they are not “tough guy” and i still dont think they “bring the mosh” like most people do. Idiots.
MDC – They will always be one of my favorite bands, especially because i have so many memories of them and or doing stuff while their music was playing, a lot of the time i was a like 14-17 was like mdc time hahaha. But mostly because of memories ive had, good or bad, they all mean somthing to me.
7) Lack Of Interest – Lack of Interest is one of the coolest bands ever, because the guy has an amazing voice, despite what anyone says i like his voice a lot, and think they should do that voice over every type of music in the world….
6) Nausea – Nasuea was one of the first punk bands I ever listened too, plus the fact that despte what anyone says they were really creative and driving, its kind of hard not to like them.
5) System Of A Down – System of a Down gave me hope for mainstream music, i didnt think they would be good, but they are actually really really talented, also a lot of their lyrical content is really powerful and awesome. hah.
4) Circle Takes The Square – Circle is one of the most amazing bands, just because of how they play and the different vocals in all the songs and the slow parts and. oh, just amazing!
3) Depeche Mode – Depeche Mode will forever be mellow slow and happy music to me, I can do anything to depeche mode, I can ride my bike or I can paint or anything, it always fits
2) Busdriver – Busdriver is one of the most talented musicians in the world, with his off beat hip hop style and his poetic yet statement making lyrics. I <3 Busdriver
1) Operation: Cliff Claven – nuff’ said, they are the best, they do everything perfect and areamazing in the process
w0rd
